oh how cute

So tomorrow is my birthday and since it's on a Sunday you can't really do anything fun. My mom told me the other week that my Aunt was going to come over today to celebrate and that made me have feels.

Basically that's how I am when I have feels. Okay so Eleven is my spirit animal and everyone should know that.

Anyways, so I worked from 10 until 4 today and work sucked so much. At first Cathy was alright and she actually was nice but then at around 2 she got bitchy with me and I wanted to scream.


Thank you again Eleven for reacting properly.

She would get mad at me for really stupid things, like always. Weis has this new system where you push a button the computer and that sends someone over for 'carry out' which is exactly how it sounds, someone helps brings the cart to their car and unloads it for them. So I would push the button and it would send Cathy over to the register next to me, I think she assumed the lady on that register was pushing it, but I was. So I would ask Cathy if the hand held dinged and she would look at me like I was insane and say, no... In a bitchy tone.
I was standing in front of my register waiting for a customer and this man walked over with quite a few items and he didn't have a cart, so I pushed the button so when she came over, she could get him a cart. She walked over rolled her eyes and walked away. After the guy left, she came over and was like, Allison how many times do I have to tell you, the only times you push the button is for reasons x, y, and z. Even though it was obvious that the guy needed a cart. I don't get it, if someone else pushed the button, she would have thanked them and gotten a cart and probably write their name down for good behavior or whatever. But OHHH no since I did it, that wasn't cool.

Some girl came into work a half hour late today, because she thought she started work at 3:30 not 3, Cathy didn't care and said, oh, well there were enough people on, so don't worry. If I did that, I would be lectured for 20 minutes and then be suspended. Fucking hell.


That's how I feel when Cathy opens her mouth. Everyone talks about how sweet she is, but she's condescending. She walks over and is like, what's wrong hon, or what's up sweetie? To me, that sounds condescending not sweet.

Anyways



So after work I started crying because I was so frustrated and like a child my emotions demanded to be heard.



See Rory gets me.

My mom tried to comfort me and I was like please don't touch me.



My aunt came over and we ate pizza and cake, and it was nice. She got me an Alice in Wonderland puzzle and I love it.

Yeah I'm done.

Some times work amuses me.

I feel like the only thing I don't fail at is making pointless blog posts. Well there are a few other things but blogging is a good fit for me.

So I walked into work today pumped because I knew I had to chameleon for my entire shift and go 'above and beyond'. I got to work an hour early and I saw Samy and I walked around with her for a few minutes while she was helping doing something but then I felt weird standing around so I told her I would talk to her later and I walked into the break room. I sat there for an hour and listened to Lana Del Rey (did you mean god?) and started reading the Shinning, I bought the book a few days ago and I just started it today. I really enjoy it, I mean I am in love with the movie, and the book was only 8 dollars so I'm pleased. Anyways, I read and listened to Lana Del Rey.

After I punched in, I went on register 11 but I didn't care because Kayla was on 12, so I had someone to talk to. Besides the next manager button was working today. (yay). I asked people about the secret sale and I packed their carts for them, but then I realized Cathy wasn't there today so no one bothered doing anything we were supposed to, so I didn't either. I sold four of the secret sale items today so I'm happy.

So there's a guy who works at Weis but he only works over nights, but for some reason some times he works during the day, and he worked today. He's attractive and I found out he likes My Little Pony and I mean he LOVES it. His background is Pinkie Pie, and his ringtone is Pinkie Pie laughing. Twilight is his favorite and since she's my favorite, I love him even more. Did I mention he's attractive? He also likes Doctor Who and Sherlock, and I think we should get married and have children. Well no because I don't want kids. Maybe. I don't know. I had to wait after work for my mom so I sat in the break room listening to Lana Del Rey and playing on my phone and Brandon came in the break room. And we talked and he was adorable and okay I need to stop because feels suck. I don't know if I like him, because when do INTPs ever know anything about themselves? But I think I do. I feel tempted to flat out say, hey I like you sort of and we should get married date. But I won't because I suck. He's nice and he sat across from me at the table when the break room was empty, and he laughs when I talk (I don't try to be funny, but apparently I am. Ask anyone.) and when I left he was like Bye!!!! and waved and I think I might have died a little.

Oh and Rarity is his least favorite pony and she's my other favorite so I was sad. He likes her but she isn't his favorite, which is alright because that's how I feel about Rainbow Dash, so I get that feel.

Ugh I hate feeling attracted to anyone that isn't fictional, or famous and has no idea I exist.

Okay I'll shut up.

Frustrated

Work has been a royal pain in the ass lately but I think I have reached something good-ish. Cathy pulled me into the office today and was talking to me about the new changes of the store and she understood that I was frustrated but obviously 'gossiping' was not good. I don't think she talked to Randy though because then I would have cried or something. (I'm terrified of Randy and if you met him you would be too.) She said I was a good cashier and she wants me to stay and she's giving me the hours I asked for because I'm good, and to be honest that made me crack a smile. I usually have a blank face when I'm being talked to in the office because why show expressions, they feed off fear and shit. I'm beyond tired emotionally these days. While it's nice that I like most people I work with, it's just ridiculous what they make us do. We are expected to stand in front of the registers if no one is coming through, I understand if it's relatively busy and other cashiers have customers but you don't, but if there's 5 or 6 cashiers and we're all standing in front of them like idiots, that's another story. We are now expected to thank them for being a gold card member. We are expected to  ring up their groceries and instead of just leaving them on the counter for them to grab, we are now expected to walk around and put them in the cart. First of all, how ridiculous is that? If they have a massive order, we are expected to do the same. So every time you pack a bag, you walk around to the other side and put their bag in there and then turn around and do the same thing. Talk about time consuming. We have to ask them about the secret sale, and then at the end we have to circle and tell them how much they saved, tell them how many gas points they have and how many cook ware points they have. Most people want in and they want out, they don't give a flying you know what about hearing how much points they have when they can look at the receipt and see for themselves.

I'm just frustrated but at least Cathy said something nice so I guess that's good. I hope things change around there.

In other news, I saw they had the Dark Knight Rises at work for sale and I almost did thjrhtktrjthrhtkjqrhtkjrthjrktqrtrthjgfjkghrtuhg because feelings.

I feel like I shouldn't care but I do.

I hate feeling like #whitegirlproblems (Please ignore that.) but I'm just annoyed. So my birthday is in a little over a week (December 9th) which happens to be a on a Sunday. My aunt is coming over the day before, she's making me a cake and we're getting a pizza for dinner. That made me have feels when my mom told me that my aunt wanted to come over. I'll be working on my birthday for a fact because that Friday I'm getting my wisdom teeth out and obviously I requested off Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and more than likely Monday. So since I requested off that Friday and Saturday, those will be the two days I have off for the week so I will unfortunately have to work on my birthday. Not that I necessarily mind because Sharon is making me a pumpkin cake for my birthday and she will officially be my favorite person. That reminds me, I'll be so sad when Linda leaves on December 8th to go to the new store. I will probably crey. Which is crying but only not really. Anyways, I don't mind if I work on my birthday but I want to open my gifts and enjoy my birthday the best I can. But Drew will be working until late so we can't open gifts and we have to celebrate some other day and I don't want to because I'm stubborn and I want my birthday to be my birthday. #whitegirlproblems.


In other news, I bought new pants for work and I went to Kohls and bought a sweater and Samy was working and we talked for a few minutes. Some lady at walmart recognized me from Weis and I was like, time to quit, people are recognizing me. Also the Dark Knight is on and that's my favorite movie and tomorrow Inception is on and I think I might cry because of feels. Ignore me and carry on.

That reminds me, I need to re watch Holy Musical B@man! and fangirl over Jeff Blim.

My birthday/Christmas wish list

My birthday unfortunately is on December 9th so I always feel like it's combined with Christmas. It's much easier to write one list of things I want for my birthday and Christmas instead of two.

I really want the Dark Knight Rises and the Avengers on DVD. As well as the first part of the seventh season of Doctor Who

I also want a copy of Lana Del Rey's new CD Paradise. I bought the CD off of itunes but I still want a psychical copy of it.

Macarons from macaroncafe. com

There are a few other things I asked for but at the moment I am blanking.

I also want a bag from Vera Bradley that I plan on buying with my own money with this amazing gift card I got from them for being a member.

I also want the first season of American Horror Story which I also plan on buying myself.

Damn my underdeveloped Fe

So I made a post the other day about work and seeing someone I haven't seen in a long time and I wanted to make a proper post about it.

So many feelings or "feels" as I call them came at me all at once and I didn't know what to do. At first and I mean half of the day after that happened, I spent that time smiling like an idiot and I mean genuinely smiling and just in a better mood and a feeling of what the fuck just happened? I mean I wouldn't have thought in a million years that I would ever be 'friends' with her again. I use friends lightly because I don't know if we're friends again, we still have so much to talk about. It felt so weird to see her name pop up when I got a text message. When we talked it was like no time had passed and we talked about shows and music and it was really nice to just talk to her. As the day went on that feeling wore off and I felt lost and confused. I mean sure I was beyond happy that this person I used to call my best friend could potentially be a friend again but I was nervous as well. Of course being an INTP means our feelings come all out at once like a child and we just need to feel them and once we've calmed down we think it over. Now I don't mean every feeling just powerful ones because remember feelings don't matter to us and we don't show them or even let ourselves feel them. Anyways, after all of the happiness wore off I became extremely logical and I couldn't stop thinking things to the point of insanity. I started being very hard on myself and just being downright mean, thinking things like so what if she was nice to you she still doesn't like you, or even if you became friends it won't be like before. Now I was just confused and emotionally drained and I needed to talk to someone. I figured since Sophie and I have been talking a lot lately and she's usually a good voice of reason I would talk to her. I spilled everything to her and she thinks the best thing to do is talk, and I mean face to face not over text messages, like go to a cafe and talk over coffee which sounds really nice and I think that would clear all of my feelings away.

I really want to be her friend again but I don't know how to, I don't want to open myself up to her and think oh we're bffs' again but turns out she doesn't want to be close. I can't handle being hurt again.

Ignore this really long and pointless Fe filled blog and carry on.

More photo blogging

I may have deleted my tumblr but that doesn't mean I can't photo blog.
All pictures are from flickr.