I feel like I shouldn't care but I do.

I hate feeling like #whitegirlproblems (Please ignore that.) but I'm just annoyed. So my birthday is in a little over a week (December 9th) which happens to be a on a Sunday. My aunt is coming over the day before, she's making me a cake and we're getting a pizza for dinner. That made me have feels when my mom told me that my aunt wanted to come over. I'll be working on my birthday for a fact because that Friday I'm getting my wisdom teeth out and obviously I requested off Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and more than likely Monday. So since I requested off that Friday and Saturday, those will be the two days I have off for the week so I will unfortunately have to work on my birthday. Not that I necessarily mind because Sharon is making me a pumpkin cake for my birthday and she will officially be my favorite person. That reminds me, I'll be so sad when Linda leaves on December 8th to go to the new store. I will probably crey. Which is crying but only not really. Anyways, I don't mind if I work on my birthday but I want to open my gifts and enjoy my birthday the best I can. But Drew will be working until late so we can't open gifts and we have to celebrate some other day and I don't want to because I'm stubborn and I want my birthday to be my birthday. #whitegirlproblems.


In other news, I bought new pants for work and I went to Kohls and bought a sweater and Samy was working and we talked for a few minutes. Some lady at walmart recognized me from Weis and I was like, time to quit, people are recognizing me. Also the Dark Knight is on and that's my favorite movie and tomorrow Inception is on and I think I might cry because of feels. Ignore me and carry on.

That reminds me, I need to re watch Holy Musical B@man! and fangirl over Jeff Blim.

My birthday/Christmas wish list

My birthday unfortunately is on December 9th so I always feel like it's combined with Christmas. It's much easier to write one list of things I want for my birthday and Christmas instead of two.

I really want the Dark Knight Rises and the Avengers on DVD. As well as the first part of the seventh season of Doctor Who

I also want a copy of Lana Del Rey's new CD Paradise. I bought the CD off of itunes but I still want a psychical copy of it.

Macarons from macaroncafe. com

There are a few other things I asked for but at the moment I am blanking.

I also want a bag from Vera Bradley that I plan on buying with my own money with this amazing gift card I got from them for being a member.

I also want the first season of American Horror Story which I also plan on buying myself.

Damn my underdeveloped Fe

So I made a post the other day about work and seeing someone I haven't seen in a long time and I wanted to make a proper post about it.

So many feelings or "feels" as I call them came at me all at once and I didn't know what to do. At first and I mean half of the day after that happened, I spent that time smiling like an idiot and I mean genuinely smiling and just in a better mood and a feeling of what the fuck just happened? I mean I wouldn't have thought in a million years that I would ever be 'friends' with her again. I use friends lightly because I don't know if we're friends again, we still have so much to talk about. It felt so weird to see her name pop up when I got a text message. When we talked it was like no time had passed and we talked about shows and music and it was really nice to just talk to her. As the day went on that feeling wore off and I felt lost and confused. I mean sure I was beyond happy that this person I used to call my best friend could potentially be a friend again but I was nervous as well. Of course being an INTP means our feelings come all out at once like a child and we just need to feel them and once we've calmed down we think it over. Now I don't mean every feeling just powerful ones because remember feelings don't matter to us and we don't show them or even let ourselves feel them. Anyways, after all of the happiness wore off I became extremely logical and I couldn't stop thinking things to the point of insanity. I started being very hard on myself and just being downright mean, thinking things like so what if she was nice to you she still doesn't like you, or even if you became friends it won't be like before. Now I was just confused and emotionally drained and I needed to talk to someone. I figured since Sophie and I have been talking a lot lately and she's usually a good voice of reason I would talk to her. I spilled everything to her and she thinks the best thing to do is talk, and I mean face to face not over text messages, like go to a cafe and talk over coffee which sounds really nice and I think that would clear all of my feelings away.

I really want to be her friend again but I don't know how to, I don't want to open myself up to her and think oh we're bffs' again but turns out she doesn't want to be close. I can't handle being hurt again.

Ignore this really long and pointless Fe filled blog and carry on.

More photo blogging

I may have deleted my tumblr but that doesn't mean I can't photo blog.
All pictures are from flickr.

The weirdest thing happened to me yesterday

Somebody I used to be really good friends with was at the supermarket I work at, training for the new store. We haven't talked in two years and she was there and she was nice and we talked and it was like nothing happened. I'm worried because I don't want to trust her and then be screwed over again like the last time.

Sophie suggested that we talk everything through and I think that would help. I feel like the first step towards healing our friendship is to get all of the negativity out first.

What my tumblr looked like

I was a photography blogger.

I really want macarons

I have wanted to try them for a very long time now but no one knows what they are or won't bake them for me. There's always buying them online but I want to try one before I spend so much money for them.

Aren't they just amazing looking?